Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Sun Up at Sundown
Another great day! The sun came out for the first time this week. Granted it was at sunset but it was like a wink from an old friend.
A great work out at the gym; I sadly, showed no faith in aforementioned sun and opted for the dreadmill. Pushed some weight as well which I never enjoy but felt good for having done. I've toted boxes home for the further consolidation of junk and am about to re-heat some of last night's salmon and make some zucchini bread. Peace Out.
A great work out at the gym; I sadly, showed no faith in aforementioned sun and opted for the dreadmill. Pushed some weight as well which I never enjoy but felt good for having done. I've toted boxes home for the further consolidation of junk and am about to re-heat some of last night's salmon and make some zucchini bread. Peace Out.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Goal Ticker
Wow, got A LOT of junk cleaned out for the tack consignment shop. Funny how dragging out all the old show clothes brought back memories of that era of life. It mounted to a ton of laundry as it has all been stored away and needs freshening up. I'm actually looking forward to getting it all out of here. I have been doing some riding but I'm not considering a show ring return. Even without showing you always tend to have gear needs in the horse game. If it doesn't return any money it is still removing clutter and if it does then I am sure I can spend it out on things I have a more immediate need for (or no need for at all!).
Also listed some items on ebay in the interest of MORE clean out. I am a minimalist trapped in the body of a clutterbug!! I think my parents instilled in me too much post depression mentality so I tend to stock up and store way too much stuff. I keep trying to remember how many creative pursuits I can chase if I am not constantly rearranging junk!
In keeping with the satisfaction of goals, I also managed a good healthy pile of stuff from the grocery store and two new recipes to try. It is so much more time consuming to attempt to stay organic and avoid patronizing companies whose practices I find "unsavory." Sadly, it brings to light just how much our food supply is monopolized by people who probably are better qualified to traffic human waste! That is a rant I won't touch today ;)
I dodged rain drops for a nice work out. The rain makes the world dismal but the green will be much appreciated when it clears off. It offers some hope to the end of a much sadder drought so I won't complain about it too much. The rest of the week's work outs are laid out in tune with my training plan. It is sooo hard to get mounted up after too long a break and too much complacency.
My neighbors kindly mowed my front yard over the weekend (I'm having trouble keeping up with the rain) so I hope to make them a loaf of zucchini bread tomorrow as a thank you AND mow my yard again as a show of good faith!
Most of my weeks are just a counting of wake ups between the time when Ying meets Yang and Kevin and I are together again. It is his turn to drive this weekend and he had planned to bring the boat down here for us to throw in on the inter coastal. If it stops raining that would be nice. We had wanted to work out the bugs in the boat remodel and then do some benign practicing getting in and out of it with dive gear on before the Keys trip in August. I will still have a few gear pieces to add on that note, too! Gloves and gear bags are all that is on that list. Soon as that adventure is done we will be looking to the TAG Fall Cave In scheduled for October. For that he plans to build us a teardrop trailer making camping just that one step more comfortable and a place for all our caving/rappelling gear to "live" and be ready on a moment's notice. That man loves to build!
Also listed some items on ebay in the interest of MORE clean out. I am a minimalist trapped in the body of a clutterbug!! I think my parents instilled in me too much post depression mentality so I tend to stock up and store way too much stuff. I keep trying to remember how many creative pursuits I can chase if I am not constantly rearranging junk!
In keeping with the satisfaction of goals, I also managed a good healthy pile of stuff from the grocery store and two new recipes to try. It is so much more time consuming to attempt to stay organic and avoid patronizing companies whose practices I find "unsavory." Sadly, it brings to light just how much our food supply is monopolized by people who probably are better qualified to traffic human waste! That is a rant I won't touch today ;)
I dodged rain drops for a nice work out. The rain makes the world dismal but the green will be much appreciated when it clears off. It offers some hope to the end of a much sadder drought so I won't complain about it too much. The rest of the week's work outs are laid out in tune with my training plan. It is sooo hard to get mounted up after too long a break and too much complacency.
My neighbors kindly mowed my front yard over the weekend (I'm having trouble keeping up with the rain) so I hope to make them a loaf of zucchini bread tomorrow as a thank you AND mow my yard again as a show of good faith!
Most of my weeks are just a counting of wake ups between the time when Ying meets Yang and Kevin and I are together again. It is his turn to drive this weekend and he had planned to bring the boat down here for us to throw in on the inter coastal. If it stops raining that would be nice. We had wanted to work out the bugs in the boat remodel and then do some benign practicing getting in and out of it with dive gear on before the Keys trip in August. I will still have a few gear pieces to add on that note, too! Gloves and gear bags are all that is on that list. Soon as that adventure is done we will be looking to the TAG Fall Cave In scheduled for October. For that he plans to build us a teardrop trailer making camping just that one step more comfortable and a place for all our caving/rappelling gear to "live" and be ready on a moment's notice. That man loves to build!
Monday, June 25, 2012
GOAL TICKER
Some things on the agenda for this week (following today, which I intend to be fairly sluggish)!
1. Clean out and wash a portion of the old riding gear to take in to a tack shop for consignment.
2. Organize some things at the farm.
3. Fill one box of junk destined either for Goodwill, or an upcoming yard sale.
4. Define a training plan for the week.
5. Grocery store to purchase some ingredients for some new recipes breaking up the monotony of dietary consumption too long endured.
1. Clean out and wash a portion of the old riding gear to take in to a tack shop for consignment.
2. Organize some things at the farm.
3. Fill one box of junk destined either for Goodwill, or an upcoming yard sale.
4. Define a training plan for the week.
5. Grocery store to purchase some ingredients for some new recipes breaking up the monotony of dietary consumption too long endured.
Monday
It was both a productive and relaxing weekend but Monday hasn't followed suit. The torrential rain of tropical storm Debby bought some R & R time over the weekend, forcing us inside but for the beginning of a new week its nothing short of depressing. As is our custom on my weekends off, I traveled the 140 miles north to the home of my other half. On weekends when I work he makes the journey here. For both of us, Monday carries with it a certain amount of dread and post "parting" depression but the simple fact is that our separate home lifestyle is the most sensible position for the time being. Departing later than I should have, making the trip on hazardous roads and too little rest coupled with too much reflection have not made for an ideal start to the week.
Having completed the mandatory tasks necessary at work, I've opted to move my obligations to the house for the day and try to muster some recovery and rebound. An upset stomach on top of it all kind of negated the possibility of remaining at the office as my staff was suspicios I might be the carrier of some toxic contagion. In truth, I think I am merely run down and stretched out.
Lately I've felt that I am on the cusp of an explosion. I'm not sure of what nature. I know it is time to clean out the clutter in my life on many levels, some virtual, some tangible. Perhaps creativity can follow.
Having completed the mandatory tasks necessary at work, I've opted to move my obligations to the house for the day and try to muster some recovery and rebound. An upset stomach on top of it all kind of negated the possibility of remaining at the office as my staff was suspicios I might be the carrier of some toxic contagion. In truth, I think I am merely run down and stretched out.
Lately I've felt that I am on the cusp of an explosion. I'm not sure of what nature. I know it is time to clean out the clutter in my life on many levels, some virtual, some tangible. Perhaps creativity can follow.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Watching Pain
Today was a hard day. One of my staff, a young girl of 22 or so, was abandoned by her boyfriend of 4 years. He left her saying he needed to walk away to think but when she went inside she found that he had already removed 99% of his belongings from their shared dwelling. Her suffering was difficult to endure.
She spent her lunch hour getting her hair cut and highlighted to run home and meet him as he promised to come by this evening to "talk" with her. I believe he only told her this to allow himself a clean exit in the first place...the promise of her chance. The chances are slim that he showed and the chances that this devastated her further are quite great.
One has to wonder...having experienced what I have and knowing what I know; which is worse? Calculating the odds as I do and facing the actual reality that in 6 months time she will likely look back upon this as a door opening moment which although painful, changed her life, OR having the hope that she has? The only door she sees is a magical one. Through this door all the pain instantly disappears and all her dreams come true. The sad fact is that this door probably doesn't exist. The REAL door is one which involves some more pain, some hard realizations and probably some gained strength she didn't know she had. It is a far off door and seems very less real than her magical one.
This wasn't what I intended to write about today and yet it was so CLOSE to a place I've been and at the same time a million miles away. I worry about her sanity and her fragile state but I also know that to take away this pain forfeits her chance to learn and grow. Hope. It is where she lives now and hope in and of itself is a beautiful thing. My perspective doesn't allow me that on her behalf in this moment. I believe her hopes are indeed quite hopeless. Her hope lies in the things she cannot perceive just yet. I hope she will soon.
She spent her lunch hour getting her hair cut and highlighted to run home and meet him as he promised to come by this evening to "talk" with her. I believe he only told her this to allow himself a clean exit in the first place...the promise of her chance. The chances are slim that he showed and the chances that this devastated her further are quite great.
One has to wonder...having experienced what I have and knowing what I know; which is worse? Calculating the odds as I do and facing the actual reality that in 6 months time she will likely look back upon this as a door opening moment which although painful, changed her life, OR having the hope that she has? The only door she sees is a magical one. Through this door all the pain instantly disappears and all her dreams come true. The sad fact is that this door probably doesn't exist. The REAL door is one which involves some more pain, some hard realizations and probably some gained strength she didn't know she had. It is a far off door and seems very less real than her magical one.
This wasn't what I intended to write about today and yet it was so CLOSE to a place I've been and at the same time a million miles away. I worry about her sanity and her fragile state but I also know that to take away this pain forfeits her chance to learn and grow. Hope. It is where she lives now and hope in and of itself is a beautiful thing. My perspective doesn't allow me that on her behalf in this moment. I believe her hopes are indeed quite hopeless. Her hope lies in the things she cannot perceive just yet. I hope she will soon.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
GOAL TRUDGE
GOAL LIST: 4 miles at 10% grade. The weather forced me to the dreadmill but the odds dictated I should go home and forget it...so its a victory.
Hump Day
My official job title is "Manager." Realistically, my job title should be "Babysitter." I have come to believe, as my experience level at herding people mounts, that people tend to suffer from an extensive education. It seems that the more education a person accumulates the more childish and immovable they become. When I was growing up, an extensive education especially one which earned the title of Doctor or more, was the mark of patience, fortitude and hard work. These were people capable of investing in both the future and themselves. Now it seems to be a mark of "entitlement." The new generation of the highly educated presents itself to me largely as a group of Prima Donnas with a very poor work ethic and an inability to adapt or express flexibility of any nature. I find it disturbing and frustrating.
Although I have always sought and deepened my educational level, I have always done so on a level grounded in personal enrichment. Perhaps many would consider this a "cop out," as I have obtained a million credits and no degree. I consider myself neither highly educated nor particularly worldly but in the same breath I have often battered myself for not having procured the documentation necessary to proclaim myself any sort of honored state. I'm fairly literate and possess a reasonable quantity of common sense and thankfully that has kept food on my table throughout my life. I once thought less of myself for failing to complete my education in some glorious crescendo...these days I am grateful not to have been poisoned for my efforts. I can "wing it" when I have to and don't feel the need to demand anyone jump through hoops or bend the world to my whimsy in some sacrificial homage to all that I am.
When I titled this blog this was something of what I had in mind. I have shared much discussion with a person close to me centering around, "What is wrong with the world." Of course, we are passing time and hoping for understanding but the facts are inescapable. A mutant defined infers a deformity or wildness, something outside the norm. What used to be a mutant vs what is today seems to be where the change lies. Today's mutants have integrity. Their word means something. They have a work ethic and they posses empathy for the people (and animals) around them. They don't just watch movies about honor, they know what it IS and want to have it. This used to be what everyone strives to be; strives to have. Today it is rare. It is uncommon.
I'm not perfect, in fact far from it. Apparently, however, I am A MUTANT, and ironically, it seems to cause me a good deal more suffering on a personal level than the average human endures. If you are also, then you are one of a growing few and I am deeply glad you are out there!!
Although I have always sought and deepened my educational level, I have always done so on a level grounded in personal enrichment. Perhaps many would consider this a "cop out," as I have obtained a million credits and no degree. I consider myself neither highly educated nor particularly worldly but in the same breath I have often battered myself for not having procured the documentation necessary to proclaim myself any sort of honored state. I'm fairly literate and possess a reasonable quantity of common sense and thankfully that has kept food on my table throughout my life. I once thought less of myself for failing to complete my education in some glorious crescendo...these days I am grateful not to have been poisoned for my efforts. I can "wing it" when I have to and don't feel the need to demand anyone jump through hoops or bend the world to my whimsy in some sacrificial homage to all that I am.
When I titled this blog this was something of what I had in mind. I have shared much discussion with a person close to me centering around, "What is wrong with the world." Of course, we are passing time and hoping for understanding but the facts are inescapable. A mutant defined infers a deformity or wildness, something outside the norm. What used to be a mutant vs what is today seems to be where the change lies. Today's mutants have integrity. Their word means something. They have a work ethic and they posses empathy for the people (and animals) around them. They don't just watch movies about honor, they know what it IS and want to have it. This used to be what everyone strives to be; strives to have. Today it is rare. It is uncommon.
I'm not perfect, in fact far from it. Apparently, however, I am A MUTANT, and ironically, it seems to cause me a good deal more suffering on a personal level than the average human endures. If you are also, then you are one of a growing few and I am deeply glad you are out there!!
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
The goal list includes creating a goal list!! I will start with ONE (they are too numerous to count right now).
1. August marks Kevin's birthday and a dive trip to the Keys. A few days before is our first annual work clean up of a local river. I'd like to straighten out this body I have been living in prior. this gives me about a month and a half. Two years ago I was running a marathon. In between, life became a marathon. Time to force an "ah ha" moment and make the fitness plan come together.
1. August marks Kevin's birthday and a dive trip to the Keys. A few days before is our first annual work clean up of a local river. I'd like to straighten out this body I have been living in prior. this gives me about a month and a half. Two years ago I was running a marathon. In between, life became a marathon. Time to force an "ah ha" moment and make the fitness plan come together.
My life is a full and active place. After too many years of too much effort I have found a place of happy contemplation. In spite of all the obstacles I have conquered, I find myself distracted and "scattered." This is the time of my life when I truly have it all but it is important not to lose sight of the things yet left to achieve. I have found my track obscured by my own pleasant distractions. So, its time to set some goals and refine the track a bit. I hope to use this as a place to organize the scatter, put things in perspective and enjoy gratitude without becoming complacent!! There are so many adventures yet to unfold. I don't want to lose sight of my prize. The Journey :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)